……….was bored so wrote this sad fairytale
A fairy tale of our time.
Once upon a time there was an island out in the sea and in the middle of this island there was a huge bog.
In this huge bog there lived an apprentice undertaker called Blub. Blub was an awkward boy and was extremely ugly but was lucky in that his father the local undertaker/bar owner and tribal leader was quite wealthy and had sent Blub to college to study law. In college Blub had learned lots of huge word which he didn’t understand but he used them all the time in conversation. Blub had a simple life helping out in his father’s bar,drinking the leftover slops, doing the odd embalmment in his father’s mortuary, getting high on the embalming fluid.
Then Blub’s father died and his father’s cronies suggested he take over as tribal leader. Blub jumped at the chance thinking of all the exciting substances he would have access to on a tribal leaders wage. Images of cocaine and caviar sprang to mind washed down with the best scrumpy cider.
All tribal leaders had to attend the national committee of tribal leaders a few days a month. Blub enjoyed trips as he got to meet his hero the Emperor Chuck. Chuck had been chief of the clan for many years, he ruled with an iron fist. He had taken Blub under his wing and told him he would be emperor someday. This excited Blub as he was very aware of his shortcomings. When asked complicated or even slightly hard questions Blub realised that if he shouted and roared the questioners would back off.
The years passed and Blub rose through the ranks of the tribal leaders and he became second in command to the Emperor greasy fingers. Greasy fingers made Chuck look like a saint. He used his position to garner a huge fortune for himself at the expense of the people of the island but things had started to sour on the island. Greasy fingers and his minions had borrowed heavily from dangerous warlords in a faraway land they decided that the people of the island would be sacrificed to the warlords to satisfy the debt.
Greasy fingers abdicated and Blub became emperor. He used his position to destroy the island he had despised since he was young. The island that laughed at his ugliness and stupidity. He became an evil despot who set the young of the island adrift on the ocean and he joined forces with a cult who worshipped snow and sent the elderly out to die in it. Over the years the island became darker and no one went there anymore. Rumours of mass slaughter of the people by Blub and his henchmen but nothing could be proven. It eventually became a lost land; a place naughty children were threatened with. ‘’ be bold and Blub will steal your liver’’ was the threat.
So the moral of this tale is if you see a power hungry apprentice undertaker hungry for power, stop him at any cost.