The Banned Flags and the Hang-Rags
January 8, 2013

…that your poor old Grandad  had to fight so you could fly.

Well let’s establish what we all already know to be the facts. The entity comprised of the six north-eastern counties of this island, officially known as Northern Ireland, is the home to one and three quarter million religious zealots, divided fairly equally in to two warring camps. One side is as bad as the other and no matter how much evidence to the contrary exists on any given dispute, it is imperative that we spread the blame for the ensuing violence and disruption equally. Equally that is, apart from understanding that, at the root of every disagreement is the evil, unprovoked and on-going terrorist campaign of the Provisional IRA.

In the current dispute, triggered by Belfast City Council’s democratic decision to restrict the flying of The Union Flag to designated days only, the largely Vatican controlled (and at the same time Communist) media have tried to portray opposition to the move as somehow backward looking and sectarian in nature. No one ever wants to hear the voice of the true Loyalist who has stood meekly by for four decades as the Republicans set about destroying the utopia which existed.

With that in mind, we spoke to one decent, Christian protester in an attempt to ensure that the views of this downtrodden majority might, at long last be heard.

So, why have Unionists of so many shades been protesting, intimidating, blocking roads, stopping people going about their lawful business, singing sectarian songs and attacking Nationalist areas and the Police.

Simple, it’s cause the Fenians tore down the flag of our country off our City hall!

But Nationalists didn’t tear it down; they wanted to remove the flag completely but agreed to an Alliance Party compromise which decided to fly it on designated days, in line with equality guidelines and in line with the vast majority of British councils, public buildings and royal palaces.

Alliance is Fenians now too. It’s our City Hall, we let themmuns in and now this is how they repay us!

But surely the Councillors are democratically elected and entitled to ring changes to reflect the views of everyone living in the Belfast City Council area?

Yes but they only got elected because they committed electoral fraud and our people didn’t come out and vote in sufficient numbers.

But if Unionists don’t come out and vote, you can’t blame Nationalists?

I don’t, I blame the Unionist parties who have let their people down.


By letting this happen and doing nothing to stop it.

But how can they do anything about it if Unionist people didn’t elect them in sufficient numbers?

They are the ones who agreed to sit down with terrorists.

And surely you know that it was in fact The DUP and UUP who started this protest with the delivery of 40,000 leaflets over the city, attacking The Alliance Party’s decision?

Aye, I blame The Alliance Party.

But Alliance stopped the Union Flag from being removed altogether!

I blame the Fenians.

You can’t blame Catholics or Nationalists or Republicans for the violence which has accompanied the protests, they have largely ignored them despite the difficulties they have caused.

Well, I don’t. I blame the Police for that! But it’s about more than flags anyway.

Really? What else is it about?



Themmuns have got everything out of the ‘so called’ peace process and we have got nathin! They get all the money and the jabs!

Well official statistics would suggest that Catholics are still much more likely to be unemployed, in lower paid jobs and under-represented in senior posts within almost every branch of the public service?

That’s just cause they’re lazy, work-shy bastards on DLA.

Are you unemployed?

Yes, I haven’t been able to work since I hurt me back lifting a tree across the road during Drumcree 3. Ah that was a good year. Back when we had a proper Police force what knew who the good guys were. Now they’re all Fenians and most of them are from the south. Some of them is just Gardas that are here unofficially you know?

Again, the fact is that the vast majority of Police officers are still from a Unionist or Protestant background, only a tiny percentage are from the Republic and none of those are also members of the Gardaí.

They still have 50/50!

What’s 50/50?

It’s a rule what says all Protestant Policemen have to retire at 50 and must be replaced by 50 ex-IRA men.

That’s a ridiculous, uneducated falsehood.

Uneducated? Is it any wonder? The IRA took away our 11+ and closed 7 schools in East Belfast alone!

That’s just because it’s inefficient to have secondary schools with fewer than 18 pupils.

Only cause Protestants are too busy working to have big families.

Have you and your wife any children?

I have seven children, two of them with her. But you keep trying to get me away from the real problem.

What is the real problem then?

Pat Finucane!

Pat Finucane?

Yeah, him and all the other inquiries  Our soldiers killed anyone and they demand an inquiry  Look at Bloody Sunday, a pile of rioters shot and now the soldiers is all going to spend 30 years in jail! What about Bloody Friday…and Bloody Monday and bloody all the other ones?

Surely the difference is that everyone knows it was The IRA who carried out Bloody Friday and no one is claiming that those who were killed were anything but innocent civilians? Nationalists want inquiries to establish the innocence of the victims and prove that the government was complicit in and even directly responsible for the murder of hundreds of people? In some of the cases for which  you demand the truth, the guilty parties have already been found, tried and have served their sentences!

And now they are in government. We want to know the truth about all the murders.

All of them?

Every one!

That’ll require a truth commission where Loyalists, Unionists and the British Government will have to tell the truth about the violence in which they were involved?

No! We don’t have to cause we didn’t start it.

Well The IRA didn’t either, The UVF were killing Catholics before ‘The Troubles’ even began.

Only cause they knew what was coming. But you are deliberately taking me away from the real problem again.

I thought you said it was Pat Finucane?

Nah, that’s what you’d like to believe.

So, once again, tell me what the real problem is?

Easy, the Unionist leaders don’t care about us. That’s why we have had to rise up of our own free will.

But it was The DUP and UUP who brought you out on to the street?

Maybe so, but now we have our own leaders. They are just ordinary Christian Protestants who have taken all they can take and have decided that it’s now time to make a stand.

But your street leaders are not ordinary people, they are a mixture of Loyalist paramilitaries, public tit-suckling community workers, failed politicians, mentally ill, sectarian motivated campaigners with years of experience agitating on the periphery, former glue-sniffing, extremely suspect pastors and semi-literate, self-publicising, would-be authors and indeed, senior members of both the DUP and UU.

Aye, they’re a great bunch a lads! Oh could you take out that bit about ‘authors’? Makes them sound a bit gay.

Is respect on all sides the answer?

They don’t respect our flag!

This is the flag that flies in tatters outside chapels, is wrapped around the faces and shoulders of looters, has slogans scrawled across it in felt-tip and is incorporated into everything from comedy hats to neoprene jump-suits?

Does your heart proud to see it but you’re trying to get away from the real problem again aren’t you?

And (sighs) what is the real problem?


Thank you.


And there we have it in the world’s largest nut-shell. The cause of the protests is ever-changing and therefore, cannot be addressed. The reason it changes is that it is a skimpy piece of red, white and blue cloth which is being pulled in several directions at once in an attempt to cover up the paranoid sectarianism at the root of something which is not new at all. It’s the same festering, malignant sore that brought us Holy Cross, Drumcree, Ulster Resistance, The Third Force, The UWC Strike, Burntollet Bridge and the decade by decade pogroms which have blighted this artificial state since its undemocratic inception.


5intheface – 08/01/2013

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